I’m just going to have to come right out and say it. This cartoon, sums up my feelings for Barack Obama at this early point in Election 08. I’ll submit to the fact that Barack is an excellent public speaker, but can’t we all admit his speeches are high on sentiment and low on substance? Ordinarily, I might just support Obama, but the frenzy of ‘hope and change’ he seems to be whipping everyone up into is alarming.
Anyway, if you need a break from all the hoopla, then please come take a look at my new side project:
An interesting article today from CNN.com regarding a teenager who apparently planned to commit suicide by hijacking a commercial airliner and crashing it into a Hannah Montana concert in Louisiana. Normally this sort of thing is what makes FOX News broadcasts pulse red with “Breaking News” and “Fox News Alerts”. I guess everyone can’t be a terrorist, especially when Walt Disney and Louisiana are involved.
Anyway, the best part of this itty-bitty article is at the bottom. Since news websites would like you to use The Internets for quicker access to relevant news items, they usually offer relevant ’subscribable’ topics at the bottom of the page. The ones offered here are sublime:
All About Hannah Montana • Suicide • Air Travel
By the way, for those of you unfamiliar with her, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) originates from the loins of Billy Ray Cyrus whose mind numbing mega-hit “Achy Breaky Heart” and epic mullet have been making people want kill themselves violently for years…
It’s about time I made things a bit more personal here on The Digital Idiocy. Tonight I’m going to be taking a sojourn to the city of dreams, a bastion of booze, that sleepy eyed self professed hub-of-the-world Boston. The trip is being made to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and that–I’m afraid–is the only reason I would consent to traveling there. Now, I used to like Boston. It has a unique character, it’s home to my favorite sports team, I’ve many friends there. Yet, I’m sick of the scene. Too many Boston University students wearing trendy outfits, clinging to subway poles and riding the Green Line up and down Comm. Ave. Too many bars that close early and host endless seas of Red Sox baseball caps and the idiots underneath them. Too Many pretentious Harvard Twits dotting the sidewalks in Harvard Square across the Charles River, discoursing and not conversing over long hyphenated subjects like “pseudo-gender-confusion-stereotypes-in-post-modern-eastern European-societies”. Too many Dunkin’ Donuts, Dunkins, Double D’s, Dunks, DD’s. Too many serpentine avenues, one way streets, construction crews and back roads to outlying suburbs (here’s looking at you South Shore). Too much Boston. To make things worse, word on the street is that yours truly will have to abide some men-hating folk who think using big words like hegemony and patriarchy punch their ticket to intellectual station. It’s possible that I’m looking at this all a bit negatively. In fact, I certainly am. But seriously: Boston, What’s Up? Now: I’d like to share a video appropriate for the occasion.
The Chinese are going absolutely bat-shit! You can’t turn the dial on your radio or click the remote to your Idiot Box these days without hearing about the latest shipment of Chinese made products to be recalled for high lead content. This latest ‘lil trick however really takes the cake, and all you sexually frustrated frat boys out there had better listen up! Apparently, what Wal Mart was recently listing as one of the top toys to consume for the holiday season doubles as a date rape drug.
Behold Aqua Dots! CNN is reporting that whatever these silly, funny colored little beads are made of when ingested metabolizes into a popular date rape drug. Is this a Trick or is this a Treat? First off, this toy looks like Lite Brite meets crochet, and we all know how much children love crocet–almost as much as they love long division. The benefit of this toy might be that the children get to keep their idiotic representations of frogs, ponies, faces and what-not so that mumsie and daddad have something to place on the refrigerator next to their “creative spelling” tests.
But what is it that the Chinese are really trying to push on us here? It’s absolutely a conspiracy, another way for the Chinese to try and poison us with lead and make as ‘amnestic’. In fact, I think this recent wave of Chinese product borders on Chemical Warfare, and that it’s your duty as a citizen of this Great Nation to contact your local congressman, your local First Selectman, your local Sheriff and ask them to add China to the Axis of Evil pantheon! I say to China this: If this is how you want your burgeoning economy to spread its wings, be my guest! Our Denny’s will out poison your people more than your trivial little knick-knacks ever will. Long live American fast-food induced constipation!
I propose for the first time in the history of the world–I hope, but not likely–an idea for an AntiSuperhero: “F**king Dude Man”. He is everyone and no one, and we all know who he is. He’s the man who bumped into you at the Fall Out Boy concert and made you spill your Sex On The Beach, he’s the one who groped your girlfriend at the party last night, he’s the one who bought the last pack of Lucky Strike Lights at the gas station, he’s the one who showed up to your party and managed to find the floor more often than his mouth with all of your food. You know what you say to your friends:
“Who got Doritos crumbs all over your bed,” they ask.
“I don’t know. Some f**king dude, man!”
F**king Dude Man is an Anti-Superhero with the power to replace any ol’ chap with the misfortune of becoming “That Guy”, the committer of the oft dreaded party foul. We’ve all done things in the company of others that we’d just as soon forget as soon as we’ve done them. Unfortunately for us all, people tend to remember names, faces and social faux pas. What F**king Dude Man does is replace the would-be party fouler at the exact moment the crime has been committed and accepts the blame, scorn and awkward glances. Meanwhile, he teleports the party fouler elsewhere in the gathering where he or she can take some vitamins and try harder at not screwing up. Honestly though, the real source of F**king Dude Man’s strength is in his ability to remain perfectly anonymous to everyone. When someone recalls the misdeeds of Party Goer X, for example, all one will recall is that the misdeed was committed by, “Some F**king Dude, Man” of average, bland and common characteristics and not by the aforementioned Party Goer.
Upon reflection, it’s possible that this AntiSuperhero already exists and has appeared at whatever social gatherings it was that you’ve found yourself at over the course of your life. But, we’ll never know for sure, Man. It was just some f**king dude, man.
For those of you who are unaware, I’m definitely a Red Sox fan. Not a Red Sox fan in the traditional New-Englander-hailing-from-a-long-line-of-suffering-Red-Sox-fans, but more the type of fan who started following the team late in highschool and has been keeping a close eye ever since. Needless to say, I’ve been following the 2007 American League Championship series with a somewhat heavy heart. However, there’s no crying in baseball–just ask Suzyn Waldman–and even if the Red Sox should fall in the two remaining must win games they have against Cleveland, I think I’ll be alright.
Enter Manny Ramirez, the BoSox’s goofy, absent minded, dreadlocked, home-run-mashing, clean up hitting left fielder. This guy, despite being the team’s obviously most gifted hitter, gives Boston fans and Sports Writers the howling fantods. On the eve of last nights 7-1 must win victory against the Cleveland Indians, Manny Ramirez had this this to offer about his team’s future:
“We’re confident every day. It doesn’t matter how things go for you. We’re not going to give up. We’re just going to go and play the game, like I’ve said, and move on. If it doesn’t happen, so who cares? There’s always next year. It’s not like the end of the world or something.”
That’s why I love Manny Ramirez. He’s like that guy from Office Space. He just doesn’t care, and it aggravates the living hell out of buffoons like Dan Shaughnessy . He’s got one thing on Mr. Office Space, though. He actually has the talent to back it up (4 HRs, 12 RBI, .440 BA in the 2007 Postseason). Manny seems to grasp the fact that sports is entertainment and that it provides at best something fun to watch socially and then jabber and trash talk about at work or with friends. As entertainment, I can think of few players in professional sports who are more interesting than good ol’ Manny. So Manny, you just keep being Manny, okay? If the Red Sox should fail in the next game or the one after that, just remember this little gem:
Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately. Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been *missing* it, Bob.
I’m just going to have to come right out and say it. This cartoon, sums up my feelings for Barack Obama at this early point in Election 08. I’ll submit to the fact that Barack is an excellent public speaker, but can’t we all admit his speeches are high on sentiment and low on substance? Ordinarily, I might just support Obama, but the frenzy of ‘hope and change’ he seems to be whipping everyone up into is alarming.
An interesting 
It’s about time I made things a bit more personal here on The Digital Idiocy. Tonight I’m going to be taking a sojourn to the city of dreams, a bastion of booze, that sleepy eyed self professed hub-of-the-world Boston. The trip is being made to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and that–I’m afraid–is the only reason I would consent to traveling there. Now, I used to like Boston. It has a unique character, it’s home to my favorite sports team, I’ve many friends there. Yet, I’m sick of the scene. Too many Boston University students wearing trendy outfits, clinging to subway poles and riding the Green Line up and down Comm. Ave. Too many bars that close early and host endless seas of Red Sox baseball caps and the idiots underneath them. Too Many pretentious Harvard Twits dotting the sidewalks in Harvard Square across the Charles River, discoursing and not conversing over long hyphenated subjects like “pseudo-gender-confusion-stereotypes-in-post-modern-eastern European-societies”. Too many Dunkin’ Donuts, Dunkins, Double D’s, Dunks, DD’s. Too many serpentine avenues, one way streets, construction crews and back roads to outlying suburbs (here’s looking at you South Shore). Too much Boston. To make things worse, word on the street is that yours truly will have to abide some men-hating folk who think using big words like hegemony and patriarchy punch their ticket to intellectual station. It’s possible that I’m looking at this all a bit negatively. In fact, I certainly am. But seriously: Boston, What’s Up? Now: I’d like to share a video appropriate for the occasion.
The Chinese are going 
I propose for the first time in the history of the world–I hope, but not likely–an idea for an AntiSuperhero: “F**king Dude Man”. He is everyone and no one, and we all know who he is. He’s the man who bumped into you at the 
For those of you who are unaware, I’m definitely a Red Sox fan. Not a Red Sox fan in the traditional New-Englander-hailing-from-a-long-line-of-suffering-Red-Sox-fans, but more the type of fan who started following the team late in highschool and has been keeping a close eye ever since. Needless to say, I’ve been following the 2007 American League Championship series with a somewhat heavy heart. However, 