Why I Can’t, Won’t and Never Will Vote for Hillary Clinton

So, some folks have asked me why I don’t like Hillary Clinton. Honestly, I don’t have a real policy-related reason for disliking her. Granted, I could try to articulate why it is that she irks me, and I could try to say that she’s condescending, irritating, smarmy. However, that’d be a waste of time. I’m against Hillary Clinton for one simple reason.

I was born in 1984. Of the 23 years that I’ve been alive, the President of the United States has been a Bush or a Clinton for 19 going on 20. If Hilldog were to be elected, that would move the figure up to 24 out of 28 years. A quarter of a century. Something is wrong with that. If you’d like to get really technical about it, there’s been a Bush or a Clinton in the White House every year of my and my friend’s lives. Let’s not forget about Vice President George Herbert Walker Bush!

I’m not even saying a like Barack Obama, but let’s kick the Clintons to the curb and get some people in office who can let people abort their fetuses, give me health insurance and handouts, feed the hungry and blast “Across the Universe” to the North Star.

Passé

Fred Thomspon: Passé

For those of us either given to Lawandorderaphilia or those of us with friends, relatives or relations infected with it, Fred Thompson is already some jackass we’re eminently familiar with. Frankly, I’ve had it up to here with Fred Thompson’s quasi-intellectual hobnobbery. This man isn’t fit enough to lead a plate of mashed potatoes. He will never be President. Granted, in a field that includes Rudy G’s and Mitt “The Stormin’ Mormon” Romney all bets–it would seem- should be off.

Crocs: Passé

This is a frightening fad. Think of it: Millions upon millions of people clamoring to wear brightly colored shoes with holes in them–holes that can be plugged with a myriad of decorative accessories. Doesn’t that sound like everything a person shouldn’t want in a shoe? Now, I’ve heard the argument that they’re comfortable and great for people whose professions require them to stand on their feet for extended periods of time. Great, I’m all for comfort and breaking Dr. Scholls dread grip on the shoe market. But, come on! Couldn’t they design them in such a way so as not to make them look like Jolly Ranchers? Path-et-ic.