Breaking News: The Stormin’ Mormon Has Left the Building!

Mitt Romney has been TKO’d by everyone’s favorite ex POW John McCain after a disappointing showing on Super Pooper Tuesday. To whom will conservatives across the country turn now in their time of need? Will they turn to Mike “The Preacher Man” Huckabee or will they swallow their pride and rally behind John “The Snake-eater” McCain?

Only time will tell my dear friends! This election seems to have whipped everyone into a tall lather, and I honestly can’t make heads or tails of it.  Sure, maybe I’d like to hop on the Barack Obama bandwagon, but how can anyone with even a small drop of self respect support someone who has a campaign video featuring Will I. Am? Doesn’t this video make you want to choke yourself with a bag full of sugar?

If more of these asinine videos are what I can expect from a Barack Obama presidency, then that, my friends, is Change I can do without. The only change that I’m interested in is the type that rattles around in my pockets when I have a lot of money. So, if anyone would like to bribe me into voting for Barack Obama… Well, I’m accepting offers.

Rise of the Idiots, Boston What’s Up? (Continued), Passé

So the birthday celebration in Boston happened, and was–setting excluded–a good bit of fun. There was an impromptu game of Zoomy-Zoomy in at a Waltham Ninety-Nine, the purchase of Trolli Hamburgers and Hotdogs, Red Bull and Vodka, Champagne and last (definitely not least) an hour long wait for a bus inside of a Convenience Store on the corner of Massachusetts and Beacon. The only mistake–and what a mistake it was–of the night happened to be patroning a bar that I’d previously enjoyed as an eater and a drinker: The Pour House Bar & Grill.

Now, I’m not a stingy person, but when I pay six dollars for an ice-intensive rum and coke I’d like to have every last drop. It just so happened that after stepping outside for a cigarette with some friends and returning to our table (watched the entire time by two other friends) my half finished rum and coke had been picked up by the bar. We alerted the waitress of the error, who then alerted the ‘bar manager’ who subsequently refused to do anything but be entirely unhelpful. We attempted to rationalize. We reasoned that he must as a human being understand our annoyance having likely had at one time a half finished plate of delicious food scooped up from underneath his mouth by an extremely eager server. The ‘bar manager’ didn’t see things our way and as most reputable businesses do; that a business should in general give the benefit of the doubt to the customer and work to resolve such trivial situations quickly by merely replacing the item in question rather than jeopardizing future business. We had, to this point, already spent forty dollars as a group and were looking to spend more. Instead, the ‘bar manager’ told us that it was our responsibility to keep their overzealous bus boys and girls from poaching our drinks and that we were shit out of luck. What followed was admittedly drunken on my part and somewhat hazy in memory, but it involved leaving in a hurry and being overcharged as a group and prevented from leaving by the masshole bouncers guarding the door onto Boylston St. As under the influence as I may have been, I still think I hit the nail on the head when I queried the bar manager, “If you’re not responsible for what your employees are doing, then what exactly is it that you’re managing?”

Needless to say, I’ll never be returning to The Pour House again–despite the fact that I find their fare edible and affordable. Conclusion:

The Pour House Bar and Grill: Passé